She doesn't deserve to be in a place like this . . . all alone

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-oxnard15feb15,0,7663055.story

"Bullying in schools has long been a problem. But recent studies show that a student who comes "out" as gay or lesbian is far more likely to suffer abuse than others, said Kevin Jennings, executive director of the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network based in New York."

Words cannot express how sad reading this story made me feel this morning. I was talking to my mom on the phone the other night about it, and she told me, “The little boy [King] should have known better than to be wearing women’s clothing to school. You can’t go out wearing whatever you want – there are social standards you have to live according to. For example, it’s not okay for a woman to walk around in a really low-cut top, is it?”

I think King should have been able to wear whatever he wanted to wear to school. I think his parents, however, were irresponsible to let him wear dresses to school, because I think there is a different socialization that goes on among children, especially middle school children, where there is lack of a social “filter” through which they decide what is and what isn’t okay to say to other people, and I think that his parents were negligent in failing to recognize that difference.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all involved.

Photo Credits: Phil McCarten / Los Angeles Times
Students pass by a makeshift memorial honoring fifteen-year-old Lawrence King which lies beneath the flagpole at E.O. Green School Thursday, Feb. 14, 2008.

I'm gunna be sure that I put this place on the map, if it's one promise I make it's that

Upon receiving my acceptance e-mail into the Core Council for Gay and Lesbian Students, an e-mail I’ve been anticipating and inquiring about since December, my initial response right off the bat was excitement. The internal monologue in my head went along the lines of, “Yes! This is my opportunity to change the gendered landscape of my school, and I have home field advantage because I know this school. I mean I go here . . . right?”

And so the self-doubt began to creep in.

Okay, I go here, yes. Obviously. But will I be a good enough candidate to represent both gay and lesbian students and straight students here on campus, an accurate enough representation? Will my heterosexuality affect my ability to be accepted as an equal member? I know the Core Council represents both gay and straight students in their mission statement on-line, but I start to wonder if there won’t be a great sexuality divide that I may have to bridge once I start getting more involved with the organization?

In times of self-doubt like this, I go to my family.

“Sara, I’m so proud of you. Good job!! But aren’t you afraid, that people will think . . . you know, that you’re gay, too?”

hmmm . . .

I tell her flippantly, “Pssh, mom, let them think whatever they want to think. I don’t care.”

But I wonder if, on some level, I do? I don’t care on a social level – I’m confident enough in myself to know that I’m trying to get involved in something positive and in my genuineness in trying to change things for GLBT students here in the future. But as far as conveying any lack of ulterior motive on my part to the rest of the students on Core Council, that’s another story. As I’m reflecting on this, however, I’m struck by the universality of the concern of acceptance, and especially its relevance to the GLBT community. I think a major reason behind why people keep their sexuality hidden from others, even people they already know care about them, is because of the fear of rejection.

I suppose all I can do is go into our first meeting with this in mind, and with purpose in my heart.

I've got birds in my ears . . .

Dear Sara,

On behalf of all of us on Core Council for Gay and Lesbian Students, we want to welcome you as a member for the 2009-2009 academic year. We hope to set up a series of meetings with all the new members before the end of this semester. If you have time to join us on Tuesday, Feb. 12th in the Green Room at LaFortune at 7 pm, we are having a planning meeting for the Stand Against Hate Week which we co-sponsor with other interested groups on campus.

We look forward to working with you.

Sr. Sue Dunn and Mel Bautista, co-chairs